I haven't felt this happy in a long while! I don't have things weighing on my mind that makes the world seem gray. I feel the peace I was looking for a long, long time. The thing is I don't know how I got to be this happy. I don't know the exact steps I took to feel like this.
I realized how good I felt the other day and the day was felt perfect. The sun was shining, there was a pleasant wind blowing and my classes went well. In a way I felt on top of the world. -Well my world ;) -
Since then I realized this I have been thinking of things that may have led to this long sought happiness.
Through out my whole mission I heard people say they gave their troubles to God. They would say, "I just gave it to God!" That puzzled me for the longest time. I would ask myself and others, "How in the world do you just give it to God?" The answers I would get didn't click with me.
Then this week it kind of came to me in a light bulb moment. I finally understood giving it to God in a way. I Gave up worrying what I don't have and fretting it and having it weigh me down.
Also I am enjoying what I do have and able to do. It's like in the song "Soakin' Up the Sun" by Sheryl Crow "It's not having what you want it's wanting what you have."
Now music and movies. I've found songs that lift my spirits when I am in a rough moment. I call them "music to make me happy". It's surprising how music can affect the mood of a person.
I've found movies that get my mind going, get me thinking about stories, life, etc. Watching higher quality movies (quality meaning morals) help me a lot.
"Keep moving forward!" I have taken this quote from Disney's Meet the Robinsons. If a hard time comes don't dwell on it, learn from it and move on from it.
These are things I've been trying for years and finally they seem to have kicked it. Don't know why but I am just glad that it finally has so I can enjoy the beauty of life.
Now, I am not saying "All is well in Zion", no not all. I am seeingthe silver lining. Right now I am able to unchain myself from thoughts and feelings that have weighed my down for years and through my mission.
At one point on my mission I reached a different kind of not caring, this was a bad one. It wasn't a peaceful release of cares. I just gave up caring about anything. Luckily I had a great companion, Sister Wallentine, to pull me out of it and see the sun again.
This time I care about life and the quality of it and I really see the sun at last and I am enjoying it! I just hope I can bring others here to my view about life and they too can enjoy their life as God wishes them to enjoy it.
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