I Realize

I am in my first semester back in college after my mission and oh how I have missed it! I've missed my friends, the atmosphere up here! The campus is small and gives it that small town feel. The city that it's in isn't that big either, you can walk almost anywhere. That is helpful since I don't have a car anymore. My car was hit (quoting my dad on this) "Bambi's sister and his mom decided to run onto the road..." and hit my poor little Century Buick.
Anywho! I rambled there for a moment. I have missed being at school. But the thing that I did not miss was the lack of dates and being reminded that I hardly ever get dates and that I don't have a boyfriend and never had a real one either. Real as in one that was about the age of 16 and could go do things as a couple. I sort of had one at 10 and all it consisted of was "I like you, you like me let's be a couple and hang out on the same street we live on."
Before my mission I was kind of jealous of all those couples I saw on campus and hearing about all those girls that got asked out on dates and were getting married. Here I was after being at this university for three semesters, in college total 2 and half years i was asked out once, been on three group dates that I organized. Adding those to the dates I have been on since I was 16 (I decided not to go on dates until I was 16) those dates added up to about 7ish (this is counting two homecoming dances and Senior Prom). And I am 23 now and that is very few in that space of time!
Going through this tends to shoot down a girls confidence and adds to the thoughts, "What am I doing wrong?" "What is wrong with me that guys don't ask me out?"
I had and still have a lot of guy friends but those never went anywhere. Maybe I scared them or something? I don't know! I still don't know why I don't get asked out on dates.
Coming back from my mission and going back to college I was not looking forward to getting back into the dating world. I was even less eager when one of my roommates was giving my closest friend, who is like my sister, and me some dating advice that almost seems like instructions I would read on a game or something. This advice would have me acting like someone I am not, or my close friend as well. Needless to say we didn't act on the advice, it wasn't us.
If am going to be in this dating game thing I am going to be myself.
Not long after receiving this advice my close friend and I were joking about being old maids together. If we can't get dates it makes sense we won't be getting married. We then decided if we are going to be old maids we might as well do it right and have no cats, or any animal. Our plan is to travel the world after we graduate college. Since we are both going to be teachers we will take each summer break and travel to some other country. (maybe even a state neither of us have visited.)
After talking about this being old maid plan with my friend I had what I call a light bulb moment. Life just got a lot bright and I wasn't bitter about not getting dates. If I get get married great I found someone I can be with eternity and I can go through life with him. But if I don't get married it's alright life will still be good because my friend and I will be traveling the world!
I think the reason girls feel like they MUST get married ASAP, that they MUST have a boyfriend is that the future without someone is either two things
-Work, work, work, work
or
-a lonely life with cats (or the animal of their choice)
I think knowing that you have a plan to make something with your life, live life and not just work it away or mourn it away the sun seems to shine a little brighter. And that is what I am doing! I am living life, getting involved, going to shows, concerts, being in clubs. This semester I am busier than ever but I am having the most fun. I am learning new skills in acting and I am learning Spanish. I am not afraid of the future now.
Advice to you girls and ladies out there.
Yes, it's good to know that someone cares for you, especially if that person happens to be an awesome guy. But first thing is first get some self-worth. Find a hobby, other than guys. My mom said in high school she majored in boys and she told me she always regretted that.
My brother was dating this girl years ago and my mom was getting to know her one time and asked, "So what do you like to do? What are you good at?"
The girlfriend's response was, "I don't know."
Long story short, this girl didn't make much with her life and still hasn't. If you don't think you have a talent discover what it is! If you don't have a hobby find one! If you want an awesome life do things to make it that way. If you want an awesome guy, be awesome yourself.
Life doesn't have to be full of huge events, grand moments all the time to be awesome and wonderful. My theory is that if you can look back on your life and can genuinely smile then is was a great life!