“All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.” We all, or majority of the human population know this saying, or have heard some version of it. My husband has a similar way of thinking. He has this philosophy about how to live life; it’s a good one and really thinking on it I feel has helped us stay relatively sane in these very difficult months (six to be exact). It is, “Work hard, play hard.” He has others, but I’m only going to go into this one right now.
He feels living this way you get a more complete life, it’s balanced. When you work hard you get to play hard. And my husband does. He works himself to the bone each week at a job he is over qualified for because he can’t fine descent work that allows him to use his Bachelors in Business. But, nevertheless he works what jobs he can to keep a roof over our heads, food on our table and continue to make payments on the only car we have. He also donates plasma so we have gas money and is trying to get his own business up and running, and that’s not even going into when he helps out with household chores and with the twins. Some weeks I wonder how he survives to the weekends. I believe it’s this god-given extra energy he has that keeps him going. My husband possibly has twice the normal energy given to most humans.
Like I said my husband works hard, but like all people he needs balance. On the weekends, and whatever spare moments there are in the week we find something fun to do. Before the kids came we would go hiking up in the mountains. Lately we’ve been using free passes to visit local museums and the zoo. When he gets the chance, my husband will go play basketball with some guys from church. At church picnics he would come home sore because he played too hard at Ultimate Frisbee.
Living this way my husband has helped me to not just work hard, but balance out by finding the equal amount of fun as well. When I was still going to college I had gotten better grades when my husband was in my life, he inspired me to work harder. Now that I’m done with my husband has made it possible for me to be able to focus on my two careers, being a mother and being a writer.
Now, many maybe asking by now, “How can this ‘work hard; play hard’ philosophy keep you sane?”
Well, since my husband has been working nights I am the one who is usually caring for our kids majority of the time. He sleeps a few hours in the day, and job hunts and other such business stuff several of the remaining hours in the day. This doesn’t leave for much family time in the day, or even time for just the two of us, either. We are all hard at work taking care of each other. Even the kids are hard at work figuring out how to operate their little bodies.
If we continue like this day in and day out someone will explode and end up in a room with padded walls. So, on the weekends we stop, take a breather and remind ourselves why life is worth living. Jon gets to goof off with the kids, we enjoy movies from the library, visit friends and if the weather is good we find reasons to go outside. If family is in town my husband loves to see his nieces and nephews and hang out and goof off with them for they are the younger siblings he never got to have.
Then when Monday comes we take a deep breath and dive right back in ready to take on the world again, or as ready as we’ll ever be.
I’ve seen it when we work hard and leave no time for anything else. I made that big mistake once. One day I tried to do laundry (wash, dry and fold), the dishes, take care of kids and make dinner and more, all while my husband was sleeping during the day. The end result was him missing work because I about nearly exploded. My goal was to try and serve my husband and have him wake up to a clean, organized home where everything was done. That night I learned my limitations. I can’t do everything, but I do what I can is enough, as my husband reminds me often; and I have to remind him of it as well.
I also know hard moments in life don’t last forever, even though it may feel like it and feels even longer because you don’t know when it will end most of the time. I do know that I am not alone in this I am surrounded with help from around and even from above.
