I was thinking about wrinkles...

Why does youth get all the beauty?

In a class of mine today, yes I’m still in college, we were preparing for our sonnet presentations for next week. As practice we were studying a sonnet by William Shakespeare.

SONNET 65

Since brass, nor stone, nor earth, nor boundless sea,
But sad mortality o'er-sways their power,
How with this rage shall beauty hold a plea,
Whose action is no stronger than a flower? 

O, how shall summer's honey breath hold out
Against the wreckful siege of battering days,
When rocks impregnable are not so stout,
Nor gates of steel so strong, but Time decays?

O fearful meditation! where, alack,
Shall Time's best jewel from Time's chest lie hid?
Or what strong hand can hold his swift foot back?
Or who his spoil of beauty can forbid? 

O, none, unless this miracle have might,
   That in black ink my love may still shine bright. 

Now… you are probably wondering, “What the heck does that poem mean and what does it have to do with this first line of this blog?”

Well, it was this sonnet that got me started on my train of thoughts that lead me to ask, “Why does youth get all the beauty?”

This sonnet is William Shakespeare posing a question is if all the strong and sturdy things in the world can’t last for forever then how can the sweet and beautiful things in life such as flowers or the sweet scents of summer last? This sonnet then closes, in the last two lines, with the idea that pretty much says, in modern English, “Can I provide a miracle and preserve beauty in what I write?”

The sonnet has really nice sentiments, I enjoyed it. It was the discussion afterwards that got me started on this idea.

After the class understood the poem the teacher asked us, “Where is beauty in our lives?”

Most of us responded with, “In our youth,” or “When we’re young.”

 Well, like always one person had a different response. What she said was pretty much the same idea, just phrased differently. “Right now,” was the girl’s response.

Of course the teacher, he being a quick-witted kind of person, said this to her, and kind of to all of us young college students, “For you, wait a few more years when everything drops,” gesturing to his wrinkles and thinning, white hair, “and opens wide,” gesturing to his round stomach.

He went on using himself as an example of good looks fading due to the aging process.

The thought I had with this topic of beauty or good looks fade with time was I really didn't agree with that idea. Who decided that beauty fades with age, why isn't it that it just changes? Does the world say the youth gets to hog the category of “Beautiful”?

I want to know why can’t there be beauty in a wrinkle, in a hundred wrinkles? Why can’t grey or white hair be more than just distinguished?

There seems to only be very few good attributes with age. Being wise, distinguished and experienced is about all that really comes to mind. For the rest the negatives run thick; helpless, weak, grumpy, achy, old fashion, and so the list goes on and on.

In my life I have had the opportunity to meet and know 3 grandmothers, and 3 great-grandmothers, an adoptive grandmother, a grandfather, a great grandfather and several great aunts and uncles. All, who have seen their share of years, hardships, good times and experiences of all shapes and sizes; with all those years were visible on their faces. And you know what, I would put them under the category of beautiful for the ladies and handsome for the men. I love their wrinkles and look forward to have some of my own. For when I do, I know I would've led a full and long life.

In the world we like to tuck away wrinkles and cover our “flaws”. I am guilty of this too; it seems that we cover our scars, wrinkles, acne, etc. and only let ourselves “endure” the sight of seeing our so called ugliness.

Men are guilty of such acts as well. I've been around my brothers, uncles and guy friends to know they too have their own self-consciousness about aging and losing their good looks. One time I teased an uncle who is proud of his good looks and told him he had a receding hairline. He refused to believe it but before he departed he pulled me aside and asked me seriously, “I don’t have a receding hairline do I?” I reassured him that he didn't  but the point still stands, that guys still worry that passage of time will take away the good looks of their youth.

Will we think we get uglier and uglier the older we get and we over-look the things that get more beautiful and desired with the passage of time.

What am I talking about? Ever heard of antiques?

My mom liked to hunt for older memorabilia, taking me with her to countless antique stores. Really, I have lost count. I have learned that people pay big bucks for the old and aging items of the past; calling them amazing, beautiful, and unique. We don’t we say the same kind of things when we get old. How come we don’t call the older people, amazing, beautiful, unique, and priceless? Instead they are stuck with being simply; distinguished, wise and experienced.

So, who decided that old age comes with ugliness? Why can’t thinning hair, wrinkles, bags under the eyes, graying hair be the thing we look forward to getting because like antiques we get more beautiful with age.

I want to look at what time gives me on my face as a gift because of my long and full life. Each line will be a marker of the many times I have laughed at a good joke shared with friends or proof that survived hard times. My grey hairs will beautiful because there will be so much behind me to share with my children, grandchildren, and whoever will listen to my long stories that will begin with, “When I was young,” or “When I was your age.” (Please feel free to imagine me saying that in an old woman’s voice.)

To end my thoughts on this topic I have a request. I want you to watch or read “Five People you Meet in Heaven”. This book changed the way I look at life. But the point I want you to look for is the moment when Eddie meets up with his wife in heaven. There is a moment in there (at least in the movie, not sure if it’s in the book) where he asks his wife to change to the older age she was at before she died. At that moment Eddie says that she is beautiful.

Who says we don’t stay beautiful when we age?

Here is the Trailer for the movie/book I mentioned: