Accomplished: A Women's Woman

Men look to those who are called a “Man’s Man,” such as Indiana Jones, James Bond, Han Solo, Russell Crowe in Gladiator and Mel Gibson from Braveheart and many of those superheroes. They see these men in movies or read about them and view that as being a man.

-         Tough, as in able to hold his own in a fight

-         Loyal to his friends and the woman he is with

-         Smart

-         Wants to fight or stand up for what is right or good

These men all have very clear qualities. Women on the other hand that answer wasn’t so clear. So, when I was presented with the question of who or what a Women’s Woman is I found I needed to do some research and may need a little more definition. The ladies we discussed try to lead their lives, it would seem, in ways that magnify their natural grace and show their accomplishments or talents.

And in my research of finding who the Women’s Women are and what traits they all had in common I was reminded of this scene from Jane Austen’s book Pride and Prejudice:

Bingley- Well, I think it’s amazing you young ladies have the patience to be so accomplished.

Caroline- What do you mean Charles?

Bingley- You all paint tables and play the piano and embroider cushions. I never heard of a young lady, but people say she is accomplished.

Darcy- The word is indeed applied too liberally. I cannot boast of knowing more than half a dozen women in all my acquaintance that are truly accomplished.

Caroline-  Nor I, to be sure.

Elizabeth- Goodness… You must comprehend a great deal in the idea.

Darcy- I do.

Caroline- Absolutely… She must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing and the modern languages, to deserve the word… And something in her air and manner of walking.

Darcy- And, of course, she must improve her mind by extensive reading.

Elizabeth- I’m no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any.

Darcy- Are you so severe on your own sex?

Elizabeth- I never saw such a woman. She would certainly be a fearsome thing to behold.

You’re probably wondering why I was reminded on this insignificant scene of one of the most well known and beloved stories by women. Well, you’ll understand pretty soon.

I did get a wide range of answers from women like Audrey Hepburn, Xena Warrior Princess, Princess Kate Middleton, Wonder Woman, etc. But the qualities and traits that appeared the most that were had by the kind of women that appear even in the outliers had some similar traits as well. All-in-all they were, using the word from the Victorian Era, “accomplished.”

You see, when a young lady was accomplished in the Victorian Era in America and Europe it meant she had many skills that helped her become connected and be respected in society. Her skills would often precede her allowing her to do well in the world.

Now, I, being a lover of words, looked up the word accomplished and was led this definition, “proficient as the result of practice or training… Having social accomplishments.”

After reading this definition I had the idea that it’s “ladies” who are considered accomplished; so I looked up the word lady and found: “A woman of refinement.”

I then wondered what the dictionary had to say about the word refine. I found this under to refine, “to improve… to free from what is coarse, vulgar or uncouth.”

This led me to come to the conclusion that an accomplished lady is one that tries to improve herself and become better than what she was or is and possibly tries to be her best self and to smooth her rough edges, avoids vulgarity. It’s not that she seeks perfection, but she has that drive to seek out to become more.

No one can be perfect in this life (excluding Jesus Christ himself), but most have that drive to better themselves and be accomplished if not in many things but in something.

This drive is what I found in common among the names given to me as examples of a Women’s Woman. They all were or are talented and done well in their field of choice.

-Audrey Hepburn: A talented, classy actress who started the timeless trend of that “little black dress” that is a must have for all women.

- Kate Middleton: fashionably modest princess of our day.

- Marjorie Hinckley: An excellent example of a mother and wife to the former President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

- Hermione Granger: The fictional young lady from the Harry Potter Series who is clever, loyal, brave and well-loved by all fans of this series.

- Maggie Smith: The skilled actress who seems to be amazing at every character she plays.

Others that were mentioned were Julie Andrews, Sandra Bullock, Mandy Moore, as well as Anne Romney. Some fictional women are Elizabeth Bennet, Jane Eyre and Dr. Jane Gray.

            Some notable qualities the all possess are:

-         Talented

-         Kind-hearted

-         Graceful

-         Classy

-         Quiet Strength

-         Comfortable with who they are

-         Loyal to family and friends

-         Clean image

I can go on and list more women, but then that would be redundant. There are many other note-worthy and great women who are talented and made something of themselves, in politics and in other fields such as, art, sports, etc. These appeared the most.

I’m not saying we ought to model ourselves after these ladies or even worship them, but I am admitting that they seem to be on the track to something good. Why is it that people seek out to know about these ladies of fame and fortune? Why is it that Clothes Company try to copy their style so people can dress like them? We are drawn to them, we see things in them that we want; talent, confidence, classiness, gracefulness.

Now, I’m not saying these ladies have it all together in their private lives, but they can hold themselves together and not spill their private problem out for all to see, at least they seem to try. They have this quiet strength that helps them move forward.

We as women, I’ll have to admit that we, in some way big or small, we are drawn to these ladies. We are drawn to the same way the men are drawn to their action stars and heroes. We want to know about them and how they came to be who they are. We want to know their thoughts on certain subjects. It’s even true for the everyday ladies in our lives.  Think of that friend or woman you admire because they have this certain way about them that draws people to them in a good way.

It can be said about these ladies, “They light up a room simply by entering it”.  In our hearts we want to be like that. I’m not saying we want to be popular or famous. We want to be talented, strong (but not course), graceful, confident, and timeless. We all want that moment even if it is just once where when we enter the room and we light it up.

The sad part of all of this is that most of us don’t think that this will ever happen to us; that we will ever reach this point. Doubt, our own lack of faith in ourselves and the world tries to prevent us from getting there. The world tries to make this ideal seem unreachable or not something that ought to be reached. These ideas turn women the other directions. On one extreme of the spectrum women could turn harsh and controlling or on the other end, where we think we are untalented or the only talent is catching guy’s attention.

Think about it, there are the “strong” business or political women who have that masculinity about them, as they try to leave their femininity behind assuming that is a weakness. The other women on the other spectrum they are sex symbols. Pamela Anderson’s only obvious skill was able to look good while running down a beach. There are also women, like Paris Hilton, who are famous because of their looks or they have successful parents. In the end these women are just girls, making a mockery of what it means to be a woman.

I’ve seen this in women today, ordinary women. Women who think they have to be “strong” and independent and not let anyone in, leaving behind their gracefulness. Then the other women who think the only thing they assume they are good at is looking pretty and/or drawing in the attentions of guys.

These girls don’t have much in the way of hobbies or developed talents. I’ve seen them many times in my life. Ask them what they are good at or what they like to do and the kind of respond they will give is something like, “I dunno…”

What many people don’t realize is that when someone is good at something confidence comes with that. Women who find their worth beyond guys and within themselves are on their way to becoming a Woman’s Woman.