Simplified

I was having dinner with Cayla yesterday on campus and I voiced an observation about my life. The observation went something like this, "Almost everything in my life had not taken the simple path, nor the easiest."

Now let me explain what I mean, for I know there are few different ideas of easy and simple that float around in your modern English language.

For an example my choice in what religion I choose believe in, Mormon. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to be the true church, but it's not the kind of church you can join and then sit back relax and merely go to church on Sunday. There are calllings/jobs in the church, scripture study, daily prayer, the everyday effort of trying to better yourself. Being part of this church I have seen countless blessings, and blessings come by obedience. Obedience requires action, and not a passive behavior.

Another example is coming to BYU-I. It would have been easier to stay at the community college I attended for two years before I came here. The classes weren't as hard, it cost my family less. However, I was guided elsewhere. Now I need to pay for rent, my own food, travel home, etc. I have to find ways to get to school and deal with more demanding classes! Coming here has complicated my life a bit.

Yet coming here I made many amazing friends, experianced things I needed to experiance. Expanded my knowledge that community college could ever have!

Now how about my career choice? Theatre director and playwright, along with an author. These three things are not the easiest to be successful in today's time. Yet again I am drawn to these occupations. My current major is Theatre and Speech Education. My back-up plan in life is to teach theatre and communication classes in high school, if mentioned career choices don't work out, or work out as soon as I would like.

Even the choosing of my minor was a long deciding process and once again I was drawn towards something that would not be an easy road to travel, Spanish Education.

I would have loved to have photography as my minor, but the set up here in this university is if your major is in education your minor has to be as well. Which complicates things. Yet I go with a subject I haven't practiced since I about 16 or 17 and wasn't even that good at then.

I debated changing my minor this week, for varies different reasons, back to English education. English and Literature are something I do well in and I can teach (But I am not a big fan of teaching English/Grammar to students). While Spanish, I know, will be a struggle all the way to the end. And back when I returned to school this past September with this idea of having Spanish be my minor I learned it would add another YEAR to my schooling. Not what I was hoping to hear! Yet I know this is the right thing for me to go into.

Also what added to me not graduating at an age when most people do would be my mission. When I had a yer and half left in school I went on a mission for a year and half. It wasn't the easiest thing to do in my life; in fact, it was one of the hardest. It didn't simplify my life, but blessings came to me and my family. Blessings that would not have come if I had simply trudged on with my life at school.

I guess what I am trying to say with all of this is that we all have this idea of how our life ought to be or we hope it would be. Then God throws in curve balls at us and our life changes. One of those curve balls was my Mom dieing. It made things harder on my family, but when we pulled together and were there for each other love made us stronger. I even connected with an uncle I only met twice in my life when i was young child. Yet when this happen I got to know a man, my mom's youngest brother, who is now always there for me.

Then there are the hard choices. Sometimes it's the lesser of two evils/weevils. Other's it a hard choice between two or many good things. Then there are the choices that simply add complexity to our lives, but add beauty.

This reminds me of my favorite story in the New Testament, of the Bible. It's back in the Book of Matthew when Jesus walks out on the sea to his Apostles who were struggling in their boat to cross the waters. The Apostle see Christ off in the distance and think he is a spirit and are scared. Yet Jesus, knowing they are afraid call out to them to not be afraid, for it is him. When Peter sees Jesus is walking on water and knowing all things are possible with his Christ the apostle is compelled to go meet his Savior in the water. He asks Jesus if he can walk out to him. Of course Jesus wouldn't deny the growth and test of Peter. So Peter climbs out of the boat and begins to walk on the water himself. Yet fear over comes this young apostle and he begins to sink. He calls out for Jesus to save him. Jesus does save him, for he loves this man, but he chides him, lovingly, for not having enough faith and the two walk back to the boat together.

I bring this story up because the difficult choices in life reminds me of this story. Like Peter we are often compelled to leave our bubble, our comfort zone, for Peter that was his boat and the company of his fellow Apostles. Like Peter we too are often called to walk the choppy waters. We won't always be successful at stay above the water at all time, like Peter. Yet when we get over-whelmed and when begin to sink we need to call out to our Savior and he will find way for us to be pulled back to our feet and he will walk the rest with us. We may get a bit of chiding when we fall from our own mistakes, when we knew better. But That doesn't stop God's and Jesus's love for us.

I have learned life is not met to be like we were playing Candyland. We wish it would be, but what would we learn from that? Spanish won't be near easy, but if I quit and go with something easier and something I wasn't compelled to study, I won't be made better. I would be the old me who would bail out when things got difficult.

Quoting a fellow sister-missionary I had the good fortune to meet and work with at the end of my mission, she quoted her aunt who told her in a difficult time of both of their lives, "I can do hard things!"

My life isn't simple but I love it. I am happy with it. It's my job to make it that way. Outside forces may change what happens at times, but I choose my reactions.

Now before I end this.... Yesterday while talking to Cayla about this observation I have just written about I made the joke, "I guess I will know what the right decision is in my life when it's not the simple one!" ;)

I love my life! And I hope you do or soon will learn how to love your own life.