Extra Ordinary

True extraordinary beings!

I begin this entry with a heavy sigh. So much is going on in my life, more than I thought I would have to take on at once, especially at my age as a young mother. One challenge that is on my plate is my husband and I have taken in my much younger sister who is still a teenager. My father works a job that doesn’t allow him flexible enough hours to be there for her. Because of this she has had to be more independent than a young teenager should be; and the affects of this independence on this independent spirit is starting to show. So, in short, since I am stay at home mom I can provide the care and attention my sister needs and deserves.

Most days I feel inadequate jumping straight into this world of parenting a teenager when normally I won’t be there for another thirteen with my kids. It’s a trial and error process and I’ve told my sister to be patient with us as we are figuring this out as we go along.

One reoccurring conundrum is the same I feel every teenager faces. She wants to stand out and be extraordinary. There are always the go to answers parents use, “you are unique… there is no one exactly like you… you are special…” and so on and so on. I am sure every parent of a teenager knows those go over as well as, “Because I said so.”

I tried to give her examples, such as her name and no one looks exactly like her or no one has her fingerprint or her back story.

I got responses such as “There was a girl in my last school with the name close to mine” and “Everyone has a face” also “Everyone has fingers” and “I’m not telling anyone about my past.” Or “I like music… everyone likes music!”

Her idea of being extraordinary is drawing cat whiskers on her face with a sharpie or coloring parts of her hair black or other such things.

I was at a lost to how to show her there are better ways of being extraordinary than looking like the Cat Lady.

That’s when my husband said something that I feel is genius.

“Being extraordinary is just doing something ordinary, only a little extra,” is what he said.

BRILLIANT!

 The word is really, extra ordinary. He told her about Marie Curie, how she was a doctor, like many others, but did extra research on radium and what it can do and she changed the world of medicine. Thomas Edison was just an ordinary inventor until he invented the light bulb.

I also want to add William Shakespeare, my favorite playwright. He wasn’t born into a rich family that could afford a great education. I’m sure he was just an average guy that had a gift with words and knew how to use it as well as the other playwrights who could afford a better education and look what he did!

Now, I think that desire we all had as a teenager, to stand out or be unique, never goes away. (Though of course we had that caveat of not standing out too much to where we were mocked. We wanted to stand out in a cool way.) We all want to leave our mark, but sadly, more often than not that desire  gets locked away in our hearts and forgotten when our attempts fail too many times.

I remember my senior year of high school I was trying so many ways to make my mark, but everything I was trying wasn’t working. I submitted an idea for our senior mural; I tried out for the musical and to be a graduation speaker and so many other things previous years. Nothing I did seemed to be good enough. I was so frustrated one day I took it out on my Styrofoam lunch tray while my worried friends watched me and gave me the best encouragement they could as high schoolers.

I still have that desire to not have my ideas die with me. But I learned that high school isn’t the end all be all. If I didn’t stand out there and be extraordinary while in high school, then that’s okay. Since then I’ve still done the ordinary, worked, gone to school, got married, had kids, etc. But on both sides of my family graduating college with a bachelors degree is an extraordinary thing, not many that I know in my family have gone that far in their schooling. And while finishing my degree I felt like I was doing something far from ordinary; I was caring for premature twin babies while trying to finish my last semester. I’ve had amazing life experiences that I wouldn’t trade for anything, not even fame or money.

 With my experiences mixed with my gift with words hopefully can be woven into my stories that will one day be published, and they will not only entertain, but be beneficial for my audience.

My sister may feel like she NEEDS to be extraordinary right now, but great things take time to blossom. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day!